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This Mother's Day, Write a Love Letter to Your Kids

By Kristin Fouts April 28, 2021

No matter your skill level or how old your children are, you can share a special kind of love and inspiration with your children this Mother's Day by writing them a love note.

When I was pregnant with each of my sons, I wrote them notes ahead of their arrival. [Actually, I kept a full-on diary for my oldest, and my second got an email.] It felt good to put my feelings onto paper, whether they read them later or not. 

Here's a snippet from my letter (er, email) to #2: "We promise to love you unconditionally. We had the blessing of living with your brother alone for almost 2 years and cannot wait to see how you change our family dynamic. Will you sleep well? Eat well? Have the same crazy cockatoo hair Ben had in his first several months? Will you two be friends and play together? Will you love superheroes like he does? Only time will tell. We love you. Take your time arriving, but don't be late. We have so much to show you and so many kisses to give you!"

Clearly, I'm neither Shakespeare nor J.K. Rowling. Here are some recommendations from writer Jennifer Wolf:

Love

Of course, you want to tell your child how you feel, and "love" is probably the most important word you can use. Even if "I love you" is something you say every day, the message is conveyed differently when the words are shared in writing. For example, you might say:
  • "It's hard for me to describe much I love you!"
  • "Being your parent has been one of the greatest gifts in my life."
  • "There's nothing that could ever change how I feel about you."

Notice

Parents "notice" a lot about their children as they grow, but how often do you actually reflect on it and tell them about it? Share what you've noticed recently about their behavior or maturity in your letter. How has she grown? What positive characteristics do you see emerging? For example, you might point out:
  • The generosity your son has for his siblings
  • The kindness your daughter shows her friends
  • The maturity you've witnessed in how your child handles conflicts

Enjoy

Throughout every stage of their development, there are things you "enjoy" doing with your child. In your letter, describe something special you do together right now. Knowing that you love to do something they enjoy will mean a lot. It will also help put the letter into context when they read it again in the years to come. Think about the simple things that bring a smile to your face and theirs:
  • Playing games
  • Cooking together
  • Reading together

Proud

Be specific when you describe what makes you "proud." This is something we all long to hear, and the words will nourish children when they re-read the letter years from now. For example, you might express pride in your child's:

Cherish

In each letter to your child, share a few memories that you "cherish." These are the moments that mean a lot to you personally and they may not realize how special that time was to you. Your stories will communicate truth in a way that's more memorable than any singular compliment. For example, you might include:
  • Memories of a shared vacation
  • An observation you'll never forget
  • A time when you realized your child had grown in some way

Hope

You probably have a lot of "hope" for your child's future. It's good to let them know about your hopes and dreams for them, but it doesn't have to be anything too big. Try not to put unnecessary pressure on them with something like, "I hope you become a doctor." Instead, offer encouragement for what you observe at the moment:
  • Your hopes for your child's friendships
  • Your hopes for your child's own observations of his talents
  • Your hopes regarding their dreams

Believe

It's important that your kids know that you "believe" in them. Use your letter as an opportunity to share your confidence in your child, as well as the beliefs that continue to motivate you personally. For instance, you might include:

  • Your own convictions about their future
  • A Bible or inspirational verse that speaks to this time in her life
  • A quotation that has touched you personally

Promise

The word "promise" is a little tricky because there are definitely some promises you should never make to your kids. When used appropriately, though, "I promise" statements can convey dedication in a way that's clear and full of meaning. Think of promises you know you can keep:
  • "I promise to always love you, no matter what."
  • "I promise to listen to what you have to say."
  • "I promise to always consider your feelings and try to see things from your point of view."


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